well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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