No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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