why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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