And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ugly people sure do ruin things
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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