I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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