A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize