We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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