I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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