Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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