She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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