he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize