I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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