your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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