I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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