Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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