The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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