remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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