question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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