ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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