I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
do nipples grow back?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize