community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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