Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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