So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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