last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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