I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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