you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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