According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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