I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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