I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
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i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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