Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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