I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize