Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize