They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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