i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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