Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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