laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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