HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
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Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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