I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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