She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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