Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My life is pants optional.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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