You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize