Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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