Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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