apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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