I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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