and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
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He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize