he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize