Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize