If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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