I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize